Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

This book is a solid foundation to a part of marriage that's so important. A great read before marriage and very insightful.

This book was the best I have ever read regarding sex in marriage. I recommend it for anyone who is engaged or thinking about being engaged if you want to have a great sex life. If you're nervous about sex, or worried about what married sex will be like, you and your partner need to read this together before you say "I do." (I'm putting all the Google search words I used when I was in this position).Finding the Love of Your Life by Neil Clark Warren is good for picking if you found someone with the right character. This one is about talking about great sex. Both are necessary before you get engaged or right after. I would especially recommend reading this if you are with someone who is against premarital sex -- just make sure they agree to everything in this book about married sex.I have been bothered by people and churches who are against premarital sex, but provide no other guidance to men. They never say tell these poor single guys in their twenties who have a hard time attracting women that porn and fantasy masturbation, instead of sex, are actually worse (see Sex, Men, and God by Doug Weiss). They never say anything about the need for a man to be sexually aggressive, take the initiative, or not be "nice" (see the GREAT book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover). It's for these reasons that I think many men who delay sex until after marriage have a lot of problems, as studies by Sandfort and Hyde / DeLamater have shown. These same churches and authors promote the myth that by avoiding premarital sex, one will have great sex in marriage. That's why I like Sheet Music: because it points out that there is more that you need to do to ensure great sex in marriage, while providing great reasons to avoid premarital sex. These reasons include why invest the time getting to know how to pleasure her if she might leave you. It also notes that by not having it, you talk more about it, which is essential if you want to have great sex throughout your marriage. It also made the point, one that even some pro-sex publications like Mens Health echoes, that pre-marital sex rarely predicts the quality of the sex in the marriage.I liked this book especially because it looks at the man's side a lot better than most books. Churches tell everyone about not having premarital sex. Then they also acknowledge that men want sex more than women. So what's a poor guy to do? Sheet Music talks directly to that issue many times in his book, like that when you commit to marriage, you commit to sex 2-3x a week for the rest of your life. He also points out that women who have been abused run to marriage to AVOID sex -- something to watch out for if you are thinking of becoming engaged to someone who claims to be against premarital sex.Another thing I liked about this book is the importance of the bride's beauty. Many, many authors say looks don't matter. However, LeMan makes the point that your wife wants to be told she's beautiful, a lot. So if you don't feel that way, don't get engaged.I had also looked at Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start by Joyce and Cliff Penner. I liked Sheet Music better.

I am a psychotherapist as well as a husband of 22 years today. I have recommended this book to a dozen or so of my client’s with generally positive feedback. In my own marriage I have seen intimacy take second place at times and sadly began a period of resentment towards my wife. The book unfortunately was read well after we had healed and were into a more balanced sex life... But I feel it would have been a great help if it were read before and during these times of disconnect.The book seems to speak more to me than the women I have referred to read it. Dr. Lehman uses humor that guys connect to, to make his point and most guys who feel they are “not getting enough” align with the message of not holding out… but this is not Dr. Lehman’s stand point - it’s a directive straight from God. My wife enjoys the book and I caught her snickering under her breath at differences times. We both agreed with the spirit of the Authors writing style and feel this book has had a positive impact on our “marital bed”. It’s probably not a book for someone who has experienced past sexual trauma only due to its relaxed stance on marital sex that could me condusI am a psychotherapist as well,as a husband of 22 years today. I have recommended this book to a dozen or so of my clents with generally positive feedback. In my own marriage I have seen intimacy take second place at times and sadly began a period of resentment towards my wife. The book unfortunately was read well after we had healed and were into a more balanced sex life... But I feel it would have been a great help if it were read before and during these times of disconnect.The book seems to speak more to me than the women I have referred to read it. II am a psychotherapist as well,as a husband of 22 years today. I have recommended this book to a dozen or so of my client’s with generally positive feedback. In my own marriage I have seen intimacy take second place at times and sadly began a period of resentment towards my wife. The book unfortunately was read well after we had healed and were into a more balanced sex life... But I feel it would have been a great help if it were read before and during these times of disconnect.The book seemed to speak more to men in general than the women I have referred to read it. It’s a great tool ( if nothing else}} to stimulate conversation

Not a reader and definitely not a sex book reader. Read this as a part of a study with a group and wow- I was blown away. Lehman says what I was thinking in a witty way and gives practical advice in a christian gaze that isnt stuffy or prudish. I wish I read this pre marriage, my husband said the same thing! Definitely recommending to friends

Loved this! One of the best sex education books I have got into my hands. It's a great tool also to read it together with your husband and it's just so refreshing, truthful, real, honest & just down to earth book. I love to hear about topics for example; "oral sex" etc. - that you have maybe just thought about or heared of but never ever have you read of someone giving a refreshing & inspiring insight of it. It's been just encouraging & reading only a few chapters made me learn so much! It was a recommendation of my mum that got to read this book 25 years ago & I think I just love how timeless it is! Thank you Dr. Leman!

Great book about sex. Both parties should read it and it will help you have a more prosperous sex life if you’re willing to listen to it

Wärmstens zu empfehlen! ***** tip top tip top tip top tip top tip top tip top tip top tip top ****

I get married on the 6th of July 2013; some of you will be reading this before then, others after.Sheet Music is a fantastic book, with 9 days to go until I get married, this has refocused me on what true God honouring sex is and how my attitude towards my bride to be should be now, on the night of our wedding and there after.We need to have sacrificial love in our hearts that flows from us so that we put our spouse first and ourselves last, only then will be truly happy and living in God's best for our lives and the lives of those around us. This works in all areas of life, but also in the bedroom. We need to love them, honour them, treat them and put our all into helping them enjoy each and every sexual encounter we have, then they will reciprocate that to us and both we will be fulfilled in our sex lives, but more importantly in our lives as a whole.This is a great book, I read it in 24 hours and just couldn't put it down! Give it a read!For your information: I asked top leaders from some of the best Churches across Europe and North America for their opinion on what is the top marriage book. After going through their answers the top ones mentioned time and time again are:1, Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs2, Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman3, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman4, His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley5, Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? by Gary L. Thomas6, Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage by Kevin Leman (with this one I have been advised to only read it a couple of weeks before I get married!)

An excellent read from an obviously experienced professional